everytime i don't need something, it pops up in front of me, irritating me, annoying me, frustrating me. when i'm in need, i can never find it. it avoids me, runs away from me, vanishes from my sight. maybe it's just the way this world was meant to work.our lives are littered with problems, and we need to solve them, no matter how simple. makes me wonder. maybe there is someone up there watching. creating all this chaos in our lives, turning us upside-down, destroying us. or maybe you think there isn't. maybe there isn't.
but now i'm in need. and suddenly the problems come again. they just came. it seems too coincidental to be coincidental. there definitely is something disturbing my life's events. that thing has a masterplan for me. and this time my problems are too huge.. too real to understand. i need to get over this hurdle..
i miss you terribly.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
get me out!!
yes that's right. get me out! i want out! i want out from the god damned singapore armed forces!! whole ton of bullshit i think it is. well anyway for those of you who don't know what i'm talking about, it's just that this small little country called singapore has something called national service.. and every singaporean male has the obligation to serve 2 years in the army.. so that's where i am now. in the army. and it's not that i just got in or what.. it's just that life keeps getting worse and worse. you can never look forward to the next day because you know it's just gonna be worse. as they always say, "the only good day was yesterday."
note: for those of you who don't wanna hear a thing about the rantings of jit and his opinions on the army, stop reading now.
anyway, as i was saying.. the army. firstly, i think, that in order for people to protect their country, they must first be willing to fight for it right? well i think at least half the god damned army wants out. why? it's the management i tell you. they don't give a damn about their men. we, who stand among the lower ranks, are nothing but grunts or dogs or any other insignificant forms of animal to them. in fact, i think animals lead better lives.. oh yes they do. what's more.. they always tell us.. have you ever wondered why you have to serve in the army? you need to protect your country! your family!! wow! but how the fuck am i supposed to protect my family when i only see them for less than 2 days a week? i don't even know them anymore! i can't fight for someone i don't know! and it's going to carry on this way until august 2006! why?! because i'm made to stay in my camp for the rest of the miserable 5+ days every week.
that's not the only reason why i hate this army. i hate it because it underpays us. i live my life in hell for for 5+ days a week, and what do i get for compensation? i fucking get a measly sum of $450 every month. if i was out there with my design job i could at least earn myself $1400 as my monthly salary. isn't this god damned government supposed to be rich? yes it is. but why are we getting so little? that's where it boils down to the fucking corruption of the fucking lee family. yes everyone knows the white haired balding hypocritical democratic-my-ass god damned mother fucking son of a bitch who wants shouted the words "merdeka!" to the singaporeans back in 1965. piece of shit. all he wanted was power. and power he got. now his entire family rules the parliament. and who do they have to serve as protectors of their playground? us. we, the citizens of fucking singapore. we, the members of the singapore armed forces. armed forces my foot. we're not even properly armed. we're using world war 2 equipment. our signal sets date back to that age, believe me.
well anyway, as if not allowing us to see our families wasn't enough, we also do stupid things in their name. all in the name of fitness.. blah blah blah.. bullshit. i was sent for a bike riding course because of my vocation. i'm a reconnaisance trooper.. i've got to know how to ride my bike to my objective.. and so i got my riding permit in the end.. but during training what do we do? we walk.. yes we walk. with at least 50kg in our packs, filled with stuff we totally do not need out in the field, we go walking and walking and walking. i hardly even get to see my bike. bastards. THE BASTARDS.
and that's not the only thing.. that load in our field packs? it's made up of a whole series of packs that we have to pack in.. like our clothes in one pack, our toiletries in another, etc etc. and the worst part? everyone's pack has to look the same!! we have to pack it the same way! the same ziploc bag size!! and if you don't? ohh you'll get it alright. THE BASTARDS. FUCKING SAF. FUCKING ARMY.
well yeah.. there's a whole lot more to bitch about, but i think i've pissed myself off enough just writing all that crap.
FUCKING ARMY. FUCK THE SAF. FUCK THE PAP. FUCK THE GOVERNMENT. FUCK THE FUCKING WHITE HAIRED BALDING HYPOCRITICAL DEMOCRATIC-MY-ASS HYPOCRITICAL GOD DAMNED MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH. FUCK THEM ALL!!!
note: for those of you who don't wanna hear a thing about the rantings of jit and his opinions on the army, stop reading now.
anyway, as i was saying.. the army. firstly, i think, that in order for people to protect their country, they must first be willing to fight for it right? well i think at least half the god damned army wants out. why? it's the management i tell you. they don't give a damn about their men. we, who stand among the lower ranks, are nothing but grunts or dogs or any other insignificant forms of animal to them. in fact, i think animals lead better lives.. oh yes they do. what's more.. they always tell us.. have you ever wondered why you have to serve in the army? you need to protect your country! your family!! wow! but how the fuck am i supposed to protect my family when i only see them for less than 2 days a week? i don't even know them anymore! i can't fight for someone i don't know! and it's going to carry on this way until august 2006! why?! because i'm made to stay in my camp for the rest of the miserable 5+ days every week.
that's not the only reason why i hate this army. i hate it because it underpays us. i live my life in hell for for 5+ days a week, and what do i get for compensation? i fucking get a measly sum of $450 every month. if i was out there with my design job i could at least earn myself $1400 as my monthly salary. isn't this god damned government supposed to be rich? yes it is. but why are we getting so little? that's where it boils down to the fucking corruption of the fucking lee family. yes everyone knows the white haired balding hypocritical democratic-my-ass god damned mother fucking son of a bitch who wants shouted the words "merdeka!" to the singaporeans back in 1965. piece of shit. all he wanted was power. and power he got. now his entire family rules the parliament. and who do they have to serve as protectors of their playground? us. we, the citizens of fucking singapore. we, the members of the singapore armed forces. armed forces my foot. we're not even properly armed. we're using world war 2 equipment. our signal sets date back to that age, believe me.
well anyway, as if not allowing us to see our families wasn't enough, we also do stupid things in their name. all in the name of fitness.. blah blah blah.. bullshit. i was sent for a bike riding course because of my vocation. i'm a reconnaisance trooper.. i've got to know how to ride my bike to my objective.. and so i got my riding permit in the end.. but during training what do we do? we walk.. yes we walk. with at least 50kg in our packs, filled with stuff we totally do not need out in the field, we go walking and walking and walking. i hardly even get to see my bike. bastards. THE BASTARDS.
and that's not the only thing.. that load in our field packs? it's made up of a whole series of packs that we have to pack in.. like our clothes in one pack, our toiletries in another, etc etc. and the worst part? everyone's pack has to look the same!! we have to pack it the same way! the same ziploc bag size!! and if you don't? ohh you'll get it alright. THE BASTARDS. FUCKING SAF. FUCKING ARMY.
well yeah.. there's a whole lot more to bitch about, but i think i've pissed myself off enough just writing all that crap.
FUCKING ARMY. FUCK THE SAF. FUCK THE PAP. FUCK THE GOVERNMENT. FUCK THE FUCKING WHITE HAIRED BALDING HYPOCRITICAL DEMOCRATIC-MY-ASS HYPOCRITICAL GOD DAMNED MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH. FUCK THEM ALL!!!
Sunday, March 20, 2005
i hate sundays
yes, i hate them. there's this particular thing about sundays that i really can't understand.. i get extremely bored, and even the things that i once found interesting no longer seem that fun anymore. the day just takes its own god damned time to pass me by, and what am i doing? nothing. absolutely nothing. maybe that's why i started this damned journal in the first place.. i needed something to do with my sundays.
aaarrgghh.
i hate wasting time. and ever since i entered this bitch-of-a-whore army, i've been wasting my sundays. everyone of them. the thing is i can never get the mood to do anything.. probably cos it's book-in day and all that crap.. gotta tear away from that.. gotta try to overcome the book-in blues one day. but probably not today. i've got hell coming my way.. gonna be walking and walking and walking the entire day tomorrow.. god damned navigation exercises..
aaaarrrrggghhh.
i need a saviour. i need someone. hmm.
can't stop thinking of her lately. but i can't do anything. i'm away 5 days of the week, and it's gonna be that way up till august 2006... i hate my life. i hate national service.
aaarrrgghh.
aaarrgghh.
i hate wasting time. and ever since i entered this bitch-of-a-whore army, i've been wasting my sundays. everyone of them. the thing is i can never get the mood to do anything.. probably cos it's book-in day and all that crap.. gotta tear away from that.. gotta try to overcome the book-in blues one day. but probably not today. i've got hell coming my way.. gonna be walking and walking and walking the entire day tomorrow.. god damned navigation exercises..
aaaarrrrggghhh.
i need a saviour. i need someone. hmm.
can't stop thinking of her lately. but i can't do anything. i'm away 5 days of the week, and it's gonna be that way up till august 2006... i hate my life. i hate national service.
aaarrrgghh.
birth of a new journal
and finally jit bothers to up his very own blog.. it's not like i'm gonna be religiously updating this thing, cos i'll only be able to touch my pc for 2 days of the week all the way till august 2006.. but i'll try.. really.
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