it's april fool's day today.. and i'm out of camp once more! it's been a long week, but the weeks are just about to get longer.. i'm into the second half of my reconnaisance trooper course now, 3 more weeks and i'll be wearing a jungle hat instead of a god damned cap.. but 3 weeks is a long time if you're going to be suffering.. but i don't give a damn about how much i suffer.. there's more to life out there in that world.. it's just that i can't enjoy it yet..
it's going to be her birthday soon. and i'm not going to be able to be around to wish her... i feel like crap. i'm going to be stuck out in the field. don't think i'll be able to sleep easy at all... not with that thought pounding on the back of my head.. the thought of not being able to do anything... the horrors.. the nightmares. fuck this army. it's ripping away from me everything that i hold dear. everything. most of all i don't get to see her anymore. it's just so impossible. she's never free nowadays.. soon i'll have nothing else to look forward to on the weekends other than just sitting at home and staring at the wall.
on brighter notes... wait. there aren't any brighter notes. bah getting too tired and cranky to be doing this.. oh yeah, and happy april fools to all of you.
Friday, April 01, 2005
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