1:29AM

For those who know me well enough, you can probably figure out from the title of this post that I'm just in that listless stare-at-the-wall mood again with the occasional thought fluttering through my mind, an untouched cup of cold coffee on the table, and the guitars tucked away in their cases and bags. There is no song in my head now, and my feet aren't tapping to that distant tune that constantly plays in my mind. Hell, I'm even typing this in slow motion.

Now let's try to remember out loud what might have happened.

I was dressing myself up for work this morning, putting on my new favourite shirt from Raoul which I so dearly like. Heading on to the mirror, popped the contacts in, waxed up the hair, and there I was, ready to hit the road. It was then that I took a second look at myself in the mirror and realised something had changed. And no, it's not that I suspect that my reflection might be someone else in another dimension copying my every move, although it probably is. I realised that I had lost touch with myself, my objective, my goal. This wasn't the Jit that I had set out to be years ago. I wanted to make things move, I wanted to give life to inanimate objects, I wanted to amaze the people, I wanted to tell them a story. Looking at this image of myself, I wondered. Have I moved on to something else, or has the world moved on without me? Either way, I wasn't exactly where I really wanted to be. Sure the money's good, and would be getting better, but how long am I going to continue running? Is it about time I stopped to be still once more, and take a step in another seemingly greater direction?

I walked out of the house pondering, I got on the bus pondering, and walked into the office pondering. As I was putting on my tie, I pondered and pondered. As I went about my daily affairs in the office, I took my time and pondered even more, but I still don't have an answer. That wasn't the only thing that I was thinking about though. There was a more pressing issue at hand, one of which I shall not elaborate too much, but my best buddies would know anyway.

I remember some time ago, I threw out the burnt Cranberry bun in the oven and decided to start baking a new one, and this time it was Raspberry flavoured. In the process of doing up this new recipe, I learnt many things, got motivated to do the things I always wanted to do, got rid of some old and bad habits, changed some of my ways, and had myself humbled just marvelling at other things. The whole baking process was going extremely well in my eyes, and it didn't seem to be long before it would be done. In recent days though, I decided to check on it and realised that although I had turned up the heat, the bun was still frozen, and it looked like it might not even start cooking. It got me rethinking the whole recipe and where I had gone wrong, what I could do, and up till now, 1:29AM, I am still pondering the thought. How long more should I continue baking?

I could do with some answers right about now.